Well, well, well. What a while it has been. Here we are, a fresh new year full of opportunity but we’re fourteen days in and it still feels very much like 2020. Or is that just me?
In truth, I have about twenty half-written posts in my drafts, semi-constructed of themes I wanted to explore, podcasts I listened to, discoveries I made during countless days of lockdown. But they weirdly feel irrelevant right now. I will probably touch them up, reword some and publish them because I do feel a spark of insight in there among the fluff. Sometimes it is important to let the dust settle, to let the words stew and ferment until they’re ready to be opened and shared. Bubble on medium heat.
I have really missed writing. It’s one of the one thing that connects my mind to my body to my soul. I know not everyone has this feeling toward the written word and those who may stumble across this post may snigger at my candidness. But this is a year of four things for me, and they will shine through the themes of this twenty-first year of the twenty-first century.
These four words are handwritten on a neon orange Post-It note and stuck on the wall next to my mirror, a daily reminder of what this year is all about. It was a crossword-like grid of words on someone’s Instagram story a few weeks before New Year that sparked this. They shared the photo saying, “the first four words you see are your things for 2021”. Now, I won’t go all hippie-spiritual, but these four spoke to me. They jumped from the grid instantly and resonated with what I had already had in mind for the new year to come. Health, Breakthrough, Strength, Gratitude. That’s the order I found them in, and that’s the order I will keep in my every day, and every time I feel the need to stop and assess my priorities.
As I now edit and add to this entry, we are sixteen days into 2021. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel I have wasted a day yet. Some days have for sure been lacking in my four words, but I have ended most days feeling quite fulfilled. There’s way more I could do and always more to give, but I feel a nice sense of progression so far this year.
It continues to be incredibly weird working from home, it sort of feels like studying again being laptop-based but to still enjoy my job is honestly all I could have hoped for. Watching others talk about their experiences of working from home, and seeing reports and stories shared on the news and social media platforms just shows how we really are all in this huge Noah’s Ark of a boat together. One thing I greatly miss is the routine. The driving to work with music blasting, the inevitable slow journey home as the sun sets. Now that working from home has continued into the new year, I am trying with much more effort to make the most of every morning and have a routine before work even begins. By getting up at least an hour before, a good yoga-like stretch, a super large mug of green tea and a decent dose of porridge, I’m set for the day. And it has done wonders for my mental health.
My evenings now consist of ticking over Palais Armoire, having a look at my analytics and posting on Instagram, and then post-dinner I have begun to take an hour or so, usually less, to reflect briefly in my Breathe Journal, enjoy my Yankee Candle which flickers beautifully in the blue, gold and pink topper (also Yankee) that my friend bought for me, and honestly, just breathe. A big difference, and something I have noticed from hours of reflection, is I often speed through life and situations, without taking stock. By not writing, literally months of not writing, I have forgotten how to do this. But now that I am desiring, longing even, to be more expressive through writing, I am starting to slow down.
I hope you’ll stick with me through this year as we navigate what is going to be another tough year for the world. Whatever your current situation looks like, hold onto hope.