Hey all, hope you’re enjoying your summer – and I hope you enjoy this verging on deep and soppy and emotional post. In all honesty, the following are just snippets of bigger things to be said but I want to cover them here anyway.
“You Go Girl” has been a phrase that has always surrounded me since I was little. It’s what my mum would say to me whenever I felt incapable of doing something, and also what she’d say every time I had good news. No matter what, after every exam I take, I get in contact with members of my family: Mum, Dad, both of my Auntie Jayne’s, my Gran, my grandparents, to let them know how it’s gone regardless of good or bad. And my Mum will either text me “you go girl” or say it down the phone. Love.
Whenever exam season (in particular) is coming up and I, like many many others, are fearful of failing, my mum will say something along the lines of:
At the end of day, you will always have us. You will always have a home to come back to. And you’ll always have people who love you.
When I think of the bond I do have with my family, I’m eternally grateful. Despite there being nearly 5 years difference, my sister and I are like that *crosses fingers*. I am always and constantly so incredibly proud of her (lots of adverbs there), and all I want is the best for her – even during our “worst argument” yet.
If you’re reading this and you’re young (although we’re all young at heart) PLEASE realise that you should do what you want at all times. But out of love and respect for the people around you.
When I think back on a mere just-over 19 years, I can visibly see how friendships “failed” due to situations and disagreements, and more often than not I wasn’t holding my tongue.
Believe me, if you can’t admit that you’ve ever said something bad about another human whether to their face or behind their back, then frankly, that’s rather sad. It’s something we all do; something we need to conquer; and something that starts with remembering to love the person in the first place, regardless of ANY PART OF THEIR PERSONALITY, APPEARANCE ETC. Rant. Smile. Breathe Anna, breathe.
I think I may have gone down these lines in a previous post, but I have always been someone who has cared so much. I tie my brain up in knots, and are constantly told by people who care that I shouldn’t care about people who don’t care about me. And I sit there believing they are right and I make those “changes”. More often than not, I feel good. But then the guilt of “being mean”, “being rude”, “being nasty” creep in.
The truth is I don’t just “let go” of people. I say I try but the trying bit just results in emotional turmoil and then my feelings get all confused. Urgh. Even writing this, I am confused.
Anyway, you now know enough. And I’m weirdly more positive about myself than my writing may make me sound. (These kind of topics are really personal, so please be kind.)
Don’t let your struggle become your identity.
Inward struggles are so prevalent now, so often talked about. Yet, at the same time, still hidden away. Reading this caption reminded me that I am much more than my “problems”. We are all much more than our “problems”. THEY ARE NOT EVEN PROBLEMS. I do not currently have the brain capacity to elaborate.
The caption read:
Let it shape you, refine you and develop you BUT don’t let it define you. YOU are much more than any mistake, tragedy or disappointment you may be facing.
And that^ is what I’m going to leave you with.
Have a wonderful day!