Love is not control.
Love is not romantic.
Love is hard.
Love gives without expectation of receiving.
When I get sad, I get more sad about love. I often feel I give too much of myself away, that I love people too deeply and no one loves me back.
But, what is actually wrong with that? Nothing. I will continue to be loving, to be far too trusting. From my experiences, I know when to not be naive. Love and naivety can go hand in hand, but I do not join their hands. I do not love without knowing what I am loving.
I feel like I’ve always connected with people because I have let them in. Yet, at the same time, I have never felt so alone. You sit and you cry. You let the tears fall down your cheeks and complain how you feel so alone. In that moment you may be literally alone. Alone in your own room. But to use the probably most overused phrase “you are not alone”.
I have learned to continually pick myself up because I have learned that I am not alone. I have my own issues yes, and some people may not get them. But so? Not everyone will understand you, and not every HAS to understand you. But God will. Or at least for me, God will.
Christian or not, believer of any faith or not, there has to be something. You have to find solace in something. Or else you risk losing yourself. But let it not be something that causes you harm, causes you to be unwell, or causes you to end who you are. Because that “something”, you need to remember, is not worth as much as your life is.
YOU ARE LOVED
Regardless of how alone you feel, the one thing you must remind yourself is that you are loved. Remember, people spend their life searching or waiting to find “the one”, their “other half”. And more than likely, at any possible age, you will find that person. You will connect and you will realise someone loves you.
But if the thought of love scares you, or you don’t believe in love…I actually urge you to look heavenward. It baffles me that I am saying this, but faith is not for everyone. Well, it is. But, everyone has their own idea of it, their own wishes and desires, and their own needs. Faith supplies. But you have to give yourself to faith in order to reap these supplies.
This is something I have learned in the past three weeks. After months of utter self-turmoil, I got myself to Cherish Conference (post to come) and I was reminded that I was loved, am loved and will always be loved.
There is much more to me than who I was, and the past is forgiven. And you have to let go. Holding on only clouds your judgement, and clouds your path. You cannot let your demon walk with you. You have to stamp them into the ground and victory dance along the path.
P.S. There is so much more I want to say but I feel I need to end here as I am now getting emotional.
P.S. 2. If you ever need ANYTHING, do not hesitate to speak to me.