life :: curveballs

So something totally unexpected has occurred in the past week, taking me completely by surprise and knocked me off my feet.

This is just one of the curveballs life has thrown at me of late. But, I’m glad to report that this is a curveball of happiness. All God’s timing, I expect.

I am writing this post from Starbucks in Liverpool, where I am charging my laptop. Stupid me forgot to bring my iPhone charger out with me so the laptop will have to do until I get back. For context on why I’m here, I’m simply going to refer you to the first and third sentences of this post. Eeeeek.

And now, out of excitement and glee, I’ve just spilt my latte all over the table and on the laptop. Surprise, surprise. Far too giddy.

So back to topic. Curveballs. Life throws, or should we say catapults, them at allllll of us. No one gets away from the firing line. Sometimes they are minor things, that you may not even notice as they don’t make a big grand effect on your life. But other times they are nasty and big, and change your life.

Adapting is just part of growing up. As is letting go, and learning how to forgive.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

I have never been one to hold grudges, I forgive easily. Mostly because I know I have been forgiven for everything I have done, do and will do. However. And for me this is something that holds me back. Letting go. I can’t. And, at one point, I even accepted that I never will let go. That was until I prayed for breakthrough, and found myself forgiving myself for everything I had ever done that I knew both now and then were not God’s will.

It’s like I have been set free all over again.

The truth is, we are not free. Countries can have freedom as one of their trio of <<mots>> to describe themselves, but the true freedom of our people is questionable.

My belief is that freedom, or at least the feeling of being free, comes when we accept things for how they are, and deny the limits we ourselves, and other people put on our lives.

And now is when I have to quote this honestly written post from Worth More Ministries:

I don’t know why life isn’t fair, I don’t know. I don’t know. I do know, that in all of that questioning, Jesus is still there and though you may not see it in the moments of hurt, he is still good. He wants us to see him in our darkest hour, the hour when we most want to leave him. It’s easier to leave him, than trust him. Always keep faith in him.

Although we depict Jesus, and even God to an extent, as “people”, we could say that we cannot depend on them, since often we find we cannot depend on other humans. But God is incomparable, and his Son was sent to Earth to be a presence of hope, and to show us the true way to home, where we will reside with the Father in paradise.


One given definition of paradise is: heaven as the ultimate abode of the just.

The just? The just are those who behave according to “what is morally right and fair”.

Those two definitions are so apt of what going to Heaven means. The thing is, Heaven is peaceful, and abundant in people who are just, but Earth is not. However, Jesus brought peace to Earth. And in the current climate, especially on a global scale, we appear so far away from peace. But we are not as far as we may think.

I feel that my generation sees no point in fighting, the way our parents and grandparents have fought. We are much more united; united in a faith surpassing religions; united in hope; united regardless of race, ethnicity and colour. United as children of the world.


Jesus didn’t intend for bad things to happen to us, that’s where sin came in. But, yes bad things do happen. Things that just can’t be explained. This is where you choose if you’re going to let those moments build or break you. You choose. I choose every day. You’re not alone. Either way Jesus will just be waiting for you to come back. He sees you. He hears you. He recognizes your prayers. He’s got you. Find peace in that…

I cannot say much more than that.


I’m never going to pretend I’m the perfect Christian. I haven’t even opened my Bible in over a month. The last time I properly read it was when I was trying to read a passage to a guy I was dating. That wasn’t so easy.

I sin, like all of us in human flesh. But I forgive myself for it, and others, and I repent too. This makes it all the more easier for God to not just forgive us, but for Him to see that we truly want forgiveness, and want to let go of our sins. He knows whether we will sin in the same way again, but He is still prepared to forgive us graciously and kindly.

God will punish when he feels He needs to. If you think you’ve never known God’s wrath then try to stay on the best side of the big man, because it is not pretty. It can take you to your darkest depths. Yet, it will never push you over the edge, and God will honestly, hand on heart, scoop you back up and start you over afresh.


Sometimes, curveballs come in the form of being too much to handle. Or that’s how we perceive them to be anyway.

Stress can overwhelm us, and creep up on us. It’s just an unfortunate fact of life.

Now, I have to admit… I’m a dramatic person. Overly dramatic. Overly sensitive. Overly emotional. My emotions are the one thing I struggle with most, that and my temper. I pray every night for help to control, or at least temper them so I can live out God’s will with a strong heart, not an emotional heart.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being emotional. Emotions are good, and they show that we care and are prepared to let people and God in. Plus… Jesus wept, didn’t he? He opened himself up.

I really want to challenge you to not let your emotions control you. Perceive them and regard them as a natural part of you and your makeup. But, don’t let them rule over you. 


One thing. Please remember your importance to the world. 

You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t supposed to be. 

There is a plan for your life, whether you believe it’s God-given or not. 

I hope that you find what and who makes you feel alive and you allow that to be your driving force. 


Anna x

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