Last night I took a long bath, sans phone but avec pen and paper. I’d felt the need to journal since my head continues to be in bit of a spin. I thought the quiet moment and water would help me process my thoughts.
I also took the latest copy of Flow magazine with me, in the hope of being inspired.
I’ve been feeling stagnant lately and that’s exactly what I wrote about.
Bothersome stagnantion
This feeling has been creeping for a while.
I think there’s a reason for it though. And that is actually very simple.
The last two – but probably more – years of my life have been turbulent to say the least.
Through grief, a difficult time in my career and a change in relationships, I’ve been navigating a multitude of lows with a few highs sprinkled in.
So now that I’m actually settled…I’m feeling stagnant.
To balance out this feeling of bothersome stagnation, I’ve been using my gratitude journal again, opening up to my boyfriend about the feeling – he is wonderful to discuss the deep, tough things with – and trying to take stock of what I do have.
I worked hard to be here.
I worked hard to survive.
So I’ve put together some journal prompts in case you are also experiencing this feeling, or in case you ever do. There’ll always be here to come back to.
Journal prompts for stagnation
Where in my life do I feel most stuck right now, and what might I be avoiding by staying here?
Try to be honest without judgment. Sometimes stagnation is protective.
When was the last time I felt excited or energized? What was different then?
Look for patterns like people, environments, habits that sparked that feeling.
If I wasn’t afraid of making the ‘wrong’ move, what would I try next?
This can reveal desires you’ve been holding back.
What does ‘progress’ actually look like for me at this stage of my life?
You might be measuring yourself against outdated or external expectations.
What is one small change I can make this week that would make my days feel slightly more alive?
Keep it realistic—momentum often starts tiny.
And three questions to ask yourself:
What do I need more of?
What am I resisting?
What would help me move forward?
Her legacy, my grief
Today I find myself in Starbucks on my lunch break. As a song plays through the speakers, the words “calling you to stay” resonate. Deeply.
I miss my Gran.
It’s hit home while I’m sat here that it’s almost been two years. It’s so sad to remember my regrets of not having seen her for a week. But it’s also not worth ever focusing on that, as my Gran never would have.
She knew she was loved.
I’m glad she went peacefully. She truly deserved that.
I do miss her laugh, being told off by her and his her extravagance.
First to call anyone else a diva or a drama queen, she was the life and soul of the party. She was the person they talk about lighting up rooms when they walk into them.
I miss our intelligent conversations, heated debates and watching the same Netflix show.
I can’t currently bring myself to watch the new season of Virgin River out of fear I’ll miss her even more.
I didn’t struggle with it last time, as it made me feel closer to her.
Now that two years looms, she feels further and further away.
The dust is settling.
The permanence present.
She is no longer her.
Everything I write will be an ode to her.
Her stories will be told.
I may even write the book we would hypothesise about around her character, told in a new way.
So many gifts she imparted, even if they weren’t hers to give.
Love,
Anna x
kulayrosas 