In the history of Kulayrosas, I’ve done two posts on love. And, to my surprise, they went down a treat.
So I thought, after watching some preaches on sexual purity, and relationships on YouTube (links at the end of post), I would share my feelings. Whether you agree or disagree, please remember that this post is entirely based upon my opinions, experiences and feelings, founded in my faith and the Christian Word.
Firstly, I just want to make something clear. Whatever you do in it out of a relationship, or how you share and comport your own body, is completely up to you. People shouldn’t interfere, make judgements, or try and advise you to make a sexual health check up. They have no right.
This is not going to be a post on Christian sex “rules”, which are actually way more liberal than they are given credit for, but simply the matters that pressure us, exclude us, and ignite us. Nothing wrong with that, I hope. I’m opening up the floor with this post for a discussion that needs to be had. Sexuality is viewed with a lot more openness and compassion nowadays, yet sexual activity is still shunned and/or made a mockery of. We need to change that. As a person of my generation willing to stand out, I ask that we stop the slut-shaming of both men and women, boys and girls, and freely talk about sex in matters of truth, honesty and openness.
As a 19 year old, I already feel like I’m growing up in a culture bombarded with sex. They say the media is to blame, forgetting the humans actually controlling the media, and advertising through the means of desires, sexual activity, and sexual deviance. Hm. Sorry but I have a problem with that.
There is a pressure to not be a virgin, yet no pressure at all. Most people don’t actually care, as they get it’s all about when you’re ready. So if you’re a virgin and worrying, give yourself a break. Please. Be a grown up, and think about how you would feel to be shamed for not taking a “step” (if you came even call your virginity a freaking step) in life, that you may have done.
And now, I can’t not talk about relationships.
After spending two happy years in a relationship, I feel like I know what makes a good relationship, but what negative aspects can bring it to a halt.
It has now reached that point in my life where I find myself being the only single one. Ok, ok, not every friend is in a relationship, but bar a mere few, the rest are in relationships or have someone they deem special. But, I am actually loving it. Finally I am finding myself, achieving my goals, and living the life I want.
It’s not just about the freedom, it’s about the liberty to make your own decisions. Decisions that only impact me and my own life.
Something I read today in Oh Comely made me smile:
…from a long-estranged acquaintance on another continent: “I think I love you a little… Even though I don’t really know you,” and just like that, I have a new happily ever after. Not a flawless fairy tale, but the real, modern kind. Where love doesn’t mark the end of the quest, but the beginning of an entirely new one. The pursuit of a truly loving, joyous life, in an imperfect, complicated world.
I just love that. A joyous life is what I’m starting to live, and I wish that on every single person I’ve ever come across in my life, even those I’ve not gotten along with so well.
People like to make out that love is so fickle nowadays, so throwaway. And yeah, I agree. But only to an extent. There are a lot of real people out there after real things, not playing you or being dishonest. So, judge how you want to be judged, or don’t judge at all. Frankly, I do the latter.
And I just want to leave you with this poem that a dear and talented friend of mine wrote:
Didn’t you wish,
On a small eyelash,
When your nimble fingers
Stroked the redness of my cheek?
Didn’t you wish for time to stop?
For us to stay in a moment
Of intertwined legs
And rapid breaths,
Hiding under blush covers?
But the truth is,
I was bound to walk out of the door,
Leaving you pining for another round
Of small kisses and heart-breaking laughter.
Wishes on wisps of lashes don’t wield wonders.
You can watch Lisa Bevere’s talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVY6tMLonyU