When I hit puberty, I won’t lie, the weight piled on me, and frankly, I’ve struggled to lose it ever since. It’s not just been too many days on the sofa, or too much pizza. I used to binge eat quite often in my mid-teens, and that was my way of coping with the anxiety and stress I felt in school.
My weight used to bother me so much, that in my first year of university, particularly in the first term of first year, I started starving myself. Now, I did this on the down-low, and no one really knew about it. There was no one to keep track of my eating habits, other than myself. By Christmas, I had lost a stone and half. I was happy with the results, but it didn’t continue into second term. The end of my relationship and the stress of exams led me to put more weight on than I lost.
But a year and a half on, I’m disappointed in myself for what I did to my body. I have now finally joined a gym, and take much more care of my body. I don’t yo-yo diet, or diet at all in fact. In all honesty, I actually eat pretty healthily. I would choose a salad any day of the week, and am vegetable-happy every day. But I need to balance out my healthy eating with plenty of exercise, particularly as I seem to have a rock-bottom metabolism.
However, despite all this, I’ve tried my best to not allow my weight issues to affect my style and the way that I dress. Nothing will cease my love for clothes, and blogger Hannah Gale’s post on not dressing to look thinner resonates with me. I’ve been told before that I don’t dress for my shape, which okay, may be a fashion faux pas sometimes. But maybe 5ft chubby me wants to wear an oversized jumper, leggings and dumpy boots once in a while?!
Sometimes clothes just aren’t flattering, and we all make faux pas, and mistakes when it comes to dressing for our body shape. These days, let’s be real here, clothes are not cut for women with wide hips, broad shoulders, and big boobs. And then those brands that do cater for these “issues” or should we say body features don’t always create clothes that are entirely appealing for the younger generation, i.e. mine, or ours.
And blogger Chloe Plumstead also wrote a post on body image, and dressing to your style, not your body. I love these words:
With this mentality, whether you “look good” or not is a power that is placed into the hands of others. It’s more important to avoid dressing badly than to enjoy dressing well – it’s a philosophy of taking away instead of adding value to. It’s a philosophy of relying on the external, ignoring how you feel about your body and the way you choose to clothe it. In this sense our bodies don’t belong to us, and we’re duty bound to not offend ole’ Roger down the road by showing too much tit or Janet in the office by wearing tight trousers that simply do not flatter our fat thighs.
I’m similar to Chloe in the fact that I’m also petite, and so we’re told to avoid anything that stops at the ankle (jeans?!), or anything oversized or boxy, in the fear that it might drown our “small figures”.
I can’t agree with her more, and it angers me that we are still so stuck in this rut. At the moment, its ASOS and Boohoo that are getting inclusivity spot on with their “Curve” and “Plus” ranges. I love the fact tat you can buy the same thing in both “normal” size and “plus size on ASS, it gives total freedom ad liberty, and allows me to make the choice between my size, 16, o an 18 if I want it to be less fitted, or more comfy.
I’m not ashamed to be a size 16, nor have mahoosive hips, a big bum, a broad shoulders. My chunky thighs have been chunky since I was a week kiddie and no amount o gym-going is going to change my natural body shape!
I love being me, and I live my style. So, I’m embracing it with positivity and open arms. I hope that you do the same, no matter what size you are.
Here’s some past photos of me strutting my stuff in my own style. No fucks given.